Humility 💚

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,” ~ Philippians 2:3 NIV

“Marriage is for losers

You can be right, or you can be married; take your pick. — Dr. Kelly Flanagan, “Marriage Is for Losers” (UnTangled blogpost, March 2, 2012)

Dr. Kelly Flanagan, a clinical psychologist and writer, wrote a blogpost titled “Marriage Is for Losers.” In it, he wrote, “If marriage is going to work, it needs to become a contest to see which spouse is going to lose the most.”

A contest to see which spouse is going to lose the most. What would that even look like?

• When the baby cries, both spouses race out the bedroom door, bumping into each other at the hall corners, just to get to the crying infant so the other one can rest.

• Your spouse’s calendar and career takes precedence over your own.

• In the midst of a really bad day, you still seek ways to make life easier for your spouse.

• When flipping through Netflix and trying to decide between Sylvester Stallone’s 16th boxing movie or Rachel McAdam’s 17th romantic comedy, you choose as though your spouse is sitting next to you.

• When you are having a rough day, you seek ways to make the day easier for your spouse, not yourself.

Listen, Christ calls us to do most things backwards from what the world and your flesh are telling you. So if you’re going to make your marriage a competition, compete over which spouse will lose the most.

Major life decisions would be much less traumatic on marriages if each party sought to lose so the marriage would grow. I’m not saying to lie down and put aside all of your opinions. I’m not saying to neglect your dreams and hopes. I’m not saying to change your taste in movies. Simply put, become second.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. (Philippians 2:3-4)

Seek second. Choose to lose. In fact, become a real winner by choosing to lose every chance you get.

Lord of our Covenant, this is so exciting! I have multiple ways every day in which I can choose to lose. Remind me daily of my fullness in Christ and the filling of Your Spirit. For once I realize I have everything I need, I will be empowered to tend to the desires of my spouse over my own. Show me very specific ways You want me to do that right now, today. Amen.

Isn’t this devotional great! As I was reading it today I felt the need to share with you all. Now the topic is regarding marriages but this concept can be applied to everything! Humility is the best thing in life! When we humble ourselves the Lord ensures to step in at all times. The more humble we become as servants the more pleasing we are in the eyes of the Lord. In our everyday life we face many challenges, that wouldn’t be so challenging if we were to put aside our attitudes and react Christ like!

What is this concept good for…

marriages

Ministry

Parenting

Family

Work

Daily interactions

When we focus on blessing others and helping others reach their desires, the Lord makes sure to bless us as needed!

~ Victoria 💛

Tough love not punishment.

I can only imagine God when it comes to his children. I’m a mom of two and I know that parenthood could get complicated very quick. It could get so crazy with two kids, that I can’t even begin to process being a father/parent to a whole global! What I do know is that being a parent requires a lot of moments of tough love. A lot of moments where we pray for grace and guidance. A lot of moments where we atomically rather give tough love and avoid punishment. Punishment has such a condemnation feel to it. The Lord does not condemn us and warns us not to condemn one another but to forgive.

Although punishment gets avoided by many people whether their parents, marriages, single people, professionals in their careers, siblings, and every other role we have in this world; tough love always precedes as punishment. When did this confusion happen? When did this confusion not get addressed but remained as the new normal behavior?

We are not here to condemn and take the judgement role. This is very dangerous to do yet easy for people to forget it. The measurement of forgiveness you offer someone will be the same measurement use against you. The measurement of condemnation you push on someone will be pushed right back to you. The Lord remains us in Luke 6:37-38, “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” This is one of the many ways we self destruct then pray for God to take us out of. When we are getting condemned, we should ask ourselves “who did I condemn”?.These parables in Luke was not for entertainment or a good read in the Bible. It’s to warn us that this walk is difficult but if you can stay away from such act; it will make the path more enjoyable than painful.

No one is perfect in this world although many are perfect at being spectators. We will never be able to avoid those individuals who are placed in our path just to critique every move we do. They will always be around and you will constantly shed grace and love in their direction. It’s easy to say how wrong someone is or doing but not easy to correct their own mistakes. Your eye sight will only be able to see what it’s striving to see. For all these reasons the Lord guides us to lean on him and not our own understanding (Proverbs 3:5).

Which leads me to this point! The word punishment is easily used and condemnation is easily placed on someone. However I believe where we get confused and lost is that the Lord needs to correct us. He must correct us in times of being wrong. It’s not a punishment or a condemnation how people make you feel it. It’s him loving you enough to fix your mistake and showing you a way out of your wrong doings. In 1 John 1:8-10 “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.” It continues in 1 John 2:1-2 stating, “My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.”

He sheds light of truth because in truth we are set free. He is aware of our short comings but because of this we still must be corrected. Just because God is a God who knows all and sees when we are about to fall short, doesn’t mean he should unseen it and bypass it. In 2 Timothy 2:14-19, “Keep reminding God’s people of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen. Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly. Their teaching will spread like gangrene. Among them are Hymenaeus and Philetus, who have departed from the truth. They say that the resurrection has already taken place, and they destroy the faith of some. Nevertheless, God’s solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: “The Lord knows those who are his,” and, “Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness.”

He warns us before He even mentions his wrath. The punishment is the very last thing we see. Aside from that we see a God who consistently warns us to repent and fall right back in his path of truth and light. We must fear letting down God and care less of people’s thoughts of ourselves. People could try to judge, punish, and condemn but only God has that true power. Brothers and sisters we must correct each other if God sends us to. It’s not being judgemental is helping each other deliver the right message and not incorrect contexts. Speaking amongst your peers of how your brother or sister is wrong, is wrong. We shouldn’t find it entertainng when someone is wrong. We should pray to God and ask how we can help fix this wrong if it’s God’s will for it to be done by you. So I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t fear those who don’t have the power to push such acts against you. Trust in the Lord and do not grow weary for God is in control and has the final say and act in everything! So when you are feeling tough love, it’s ok! See it for what it is and not what you feel! Not all emotions are bad but God does warn us to not lean on our emotions because they can decieve us. It’s just the Lord loving you too much to let you go on uncorrected. If he corrects you he can keep using you. Correction is the best way to grow and learn. But if you refuse correction you are self destructing your own life and going against God. The more you walk in this walk with the Lord and accept every correction that is God approve, the more you will grow strong and be able to lead others closer to God!

God is on your side I promise !!!

Blessings!

-Victoria 💛

He Who Began…

“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” ~ Philippians 1:6 NIV

Amen ! Our God only begins things, which in His perfect time He will complete it!

There is nothing impossible for God! He moves things around for our favor every day. He works in mysterious ways every day for us. HE MOVES EVEN WHEN WE DON’T SEE IT! HE’S MOVING RIGHT NOW!!! This is one of the reasons why He does all He does!!! He spoke our name to existences, and when He spoke it He began something in us!!! He began something in us!

Now this is where our flesh battles to remain firm in this promise!!!!

• I’m not good enough…

• I’m not ready …

• I’m too tired…

• I’m too weak…

• I’m so confused…

• I’m not sure…

• I doubt …

• I don’t understand …

• I can’t see it …

• I refuse …

• I only can …

• I wish I could …

This is our daily dialogue!!!!!!!!!!!

You see the problem?

We are speaking more death upon our lives than life. Since we repeat it so much we have gotten a custom to feeling inadequate.

If we can simply hold on to the promise that our creator is the one in charge of our life. We didn’t ask to be born, yet God felt the need to speak our name upon this earth. His ways are higher than ours, and His plans are greater than ours.

So no more speaking death but stopping the enemy from feeding you so much lies!!! When any of these negative thoughts sneak into your mind, scream it out!!! Remind the devil what God reminded you !!! That what He begins He finishes. That means God is in charge of starting and in charge of how it ends. The best part of this verse are these three words “carry it on”. Not only is He in charge of the beginning of your life and the end but He also promises to carry you through it all. He promised to carry you until He is done what He started in you.

God begins…

God carries…

God completes…

So now do you understand why He tells us to be confident????

We can live life knowing that God is always with us. No need to fear because we are not alone. He takes every step with us.

SO LET’S WALK CONFIDENT!!!!

~ Victoria 💛