Vulnerability

For many years I was compare to glass.

So transparent but yet a soul that would easily crack.

Bulletproof use to be my type of frame, until love showed me I was still not safe.

I say love although I could debate, that at times it felt intoxicated than certain.

At times I smelled prison than freedom.

You never saw it physically but this was me internally.

Those that preached to me that being Christian was easy; lied to me.

I’m a witness that the trials came pouring, as soon as my lips proclaimed His glory.

It felt painful but with each step I got closer to my splendor.

The radiance of this King of kings and Lord of Lords; brighten all the cracks on me that had to be restored.

Restored?

A bit confusing when I thought saying I do to you, meant a clear slate.

Now I see I had more lines than a map that was draw on with no common sense.

I was thee purposeless map, to those that touch me and was comforted with being lost.

Now I’m told these lines have a purpose but was viewed completely wrong.

I was glass because many only gave me the option to be perfect.

Although they enjoyed my falls when they heard each cracking sound of my body hitting the surface.

Now I understand why I had to be a glass for those, who put the high standard on my soul.

For when I was not living for them, they had the ability of having all my flaws exposed.

Although when my lips muttered that night how broken hearted I was; love came full force and cause this glass to burst.

Now I’m no longer lines but broken pieces.

Billions of pieces that represented something I was missing.

My lips muttered again “fix me” under the hot shower.

I staged the scene by mistake and the Lord spoke to me in all the places that matter.

“I will fix you because you have surrendered, all the broken pieces that you couldn’t put together.

I will burn all that is not of me in you back to ashes.

It will hurt you but please hold on because the ending will magnify my purpose.”

Just like that, the seed that was planted in me was getting watered.

I was no longer in the shower but yet in my process.

Where hills and valleys will strengthen me.

Where I will come out unharmed.

“You see I am making all things new.

Which you will receive but first you must be processed.

For your eyes will finally see me and not your ears just hear me.

So whether your in the hills or the valley, you will find me.

I won’t be hiding but close to every reach out you do.

You see I love you profoundly and first but I want you to want me too.

Not just want me but place me first, for I know the future plans I have for you…”

I couldn’t help but to shout with all I had left;

Lord I will do whatever i must.

Where ever you send me, I will go.

Whatever I must speak, I will say.

Whatever I must believe, I will.

Whatever I need to do, I will do.

Just show me the directions that will lead me completely through.

“In order to be with me you must believe in me.

You must carry your cross.

You might wonder why you must carry again what I have already done for you.

The cross is not meant to torture or weigh you down but to remind you where you stand.

The son, the father, and the Holy Spirit.

Remember the next time you say your alone, that you are surround by a powerful stronghold.

You need to carry your cross because this walk requires vulnerability.

For everyone will see, including me.

That strong in me is a form of weakness to the flesh but strong in spirit.

That the weigh of this cross is for the chosen not to be blown when the wind blows.

But to stand firm, in posture on the word.

Hold on tight to every instrument I have given you to survive this trouble world.

That way, you will never forget what your called for.”

Victoria 💛

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