Parenting Wisdom from God’s Word…Part 2

“Rebuking

When children are out of line in action or attitude, it is important to rebuke them. Reprimanding, scolding, admonishing, and chastening are all part of biblical parenting. Notice, none of these involve screaming at children, beating children, demeaning children, or calling them names. Rebuking also does not mean over-correcting children; this leads to bitterness in the heart of the child (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21).

Rebuking your children means you are calling them to account for their words or deeds. You are reminding them of the biblical standard and showing them how they have failed to meet it. This would be the “put off” of Ephesians 4:22-24. For this to be effective, these standards must be taught and upheld by everyone as part of everyday life in the home. While most children are not wise, they can be fairly discerning at a young age, especially when they see parents saying one thing and doing another.

It is easy to become weary in consistently calling them to account; some days it may seem that all you do is discipline! However, if that is the case, it is time well spent.

Correcting

When children wander off the path of righteousness, they need to be corrected. Biblical correction involves informing them of the “put on” aspect of the previously cited Ephesians 4 passage. It is not enough to tell a child to stop doing something; parents must take the time to help their children understand the heart behind the sinful and disobedient actions that necessitate the corrective action. If the heart is not addressed parents run the real risk of creating a Pharisee who performs righteousness outwardly, but has a darkened heart (Matt. 15:8).

Correction often involves a physical component. Sometimes it is the use of the rod (Prov. 13:24; 22:15) or loss of privileges. The physical component of correction is commonly the only method employed. I would suggest that is a grave error on the part of parents, for then the opportunity for biblical discipling is lost; it becomes “punishment” instead of discipline. Biblical discipline involves all of these components.”

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